Near the end of her book Bella Tuscany, Frances Mayes and her husband Ed wonder what they would most like to take back with them from Italy to a new house in San Francisco where they work (pages 268-270):
We ask each other what we could have done differently. And what can we take back to our lives in the new house? What accounts for the dramatic shift in our minds and bodies when we live here? And, in California, aren’t we frequently out of control?
… “Taking buckets of time back is the main thing.” [Ed observes]
“If only we could take back the siesta –free hours in the middle of the day.”
“Wouldn’t you like to call one friend and say, ‘How are you?’ and not hear the answer, ‘I’m so busy’?”
“Well, ‘I’m busy’ means several things—partly it means ‘I’m important.’ But maybe living life is so important that we shouldn’t be busy. At least not busy, busy, with that buzz-buzz sound.”
Ed tells his students to figure out how many weekends they have left, given the good fortune of normal life expectancy. Even to the young it’s a shock to see that there are only 2800 more. That’s it. Done for. Carpe diem, si’, si’, grab the days.
This reminds me of the counsel in Psalm 90:12: “So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.”
Hmmm…if I live another 40+ years (average life expectancy for a female in the U.S. is 87), that means I’ve got roughly 2100 left. Less than 500 of those will be with children at home.
Counting your days may also bring about an urgency that promotes busyness. A pressure to choose quantity of accomplishment over quality of living.
What is the measure of “quality living”? How can we know when we are merely enjoying life for our own self interests, at the expense of others’ needs? And when we are simplifying in order to improve the quality of our relationships?
That one line haunts me: “But maybe living life is so important that we shouldn’t be busy.” What are your thoughts on this?
One more thought/challenge: when was the last time that you experienced la dolce far niente – the sweetness of doing nothing?
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